VISIT THE CURRENT DIARY
OLD TOURSAW DIARY ENTRIES!
UNE 23, 2006 -
SEPT 22, 2006 -Since we last spoke, the new dog (whom we decided to name "Nessie", or "The Loch Ness Monster") has learned to fetch, lay down, and take craps while walking. Best in show, baby. Best in show.
Also since we last spoke, we've uploaded a veritable cornucopia of video goodness. You can access them via the videos page, or by simply searching "full service" on YouTube.
Among the additions:
1) FS on the Fox 7 evening news from 9/16 (to be explained in future paragraphs)
2) The FS interview with ME television (Austin) from 9/4 (sorry for the poor quality, technology's a bitch)
and from Stubb's 6/10/06
3) Freezing Dub
4) Ate Enough
5) Bo-Ding
6) Ramona
7) a cover of Mastodon's "Blood and Thunder"
8) Single-Note Slayer
and from Fansaw Appreciation night at Rockin Tomato 8/12/06
9) Hoag's drum solo
10) Smell's bongo solo
11) Twink and Bonesaw's solos
12) Lopey guest MCing
13) 3 Will Ride Forth (chopped and screwed)
14) Superfan "Daniel Martinez" freaking out during Boons w/ Boards
and coming soon...a Full Service episode of CRIBS!!
Before we move on, I'd like to relay this little nugget of anecdote-ocity from the interview at ME television:
Whenever a tv station interviews you, they ask you to sign a release form. I'm not going to pretend I know what we're "releasing", but it just feels like they're asking for an autograph, which is always kinda cool. Anyway, this is verbatim what transpired when they asked smell to sign:
ME producer: "First and Last name please?"
Smell: "SMELL...MAN...."
ME producer: "[confused look]"
Smell: "[equally confused look]"
ME producer: "But I'm sure you have a--"
Smell: "Nope. SMELL...MAN..."
Way to stay the course, Smell.
We had so much fun at ME that we're planning a performance on their roof sometime in the next few months. They haven't said yes yet, but if they don't, then they're really not that much fun after all, are they? So the pressure's on, ME!!
YOUR MISSION, Fansaw!!: email ME and write "If you guys had Full Service play on the roof, I would be there, and you guys would officially be the coolest channel on planet earth."
(seriously, do that).
OK, the takeover at ACL: it was a rousing success. (See the VIDEO) I mean, yeah, the cops came and shut us down after 3 songs, but 300 people picked up demos, and Twinky-P was interviewed on TV shirtless with his bass strapped around that sexy frame of his. How cool is he?
Many many many thanks to the following dedicated fansaws who came out to help:
Hannah (demo distribution)
Michelle (equipment carrier)
Anthony (equipment carrier)
Ryan (equipment carrier)
Lopey (logistics coordinator, liaison to the police)
YOUR MISSION, Fansaw!!: email hoag@fullservicemusic.com with suggestions for next week's takeover.
The agenda for this weekend. Two big shows.
Friday 9/22, 10pm: Huuuuuuuuuge party thrown by birthday-boy Blake at the American Legion Building. Map is here.
Sunday 9/24, 10-11pm: In-studio peformance at KVRX studios, being broadcast live from 10-11pm on 91.7 FM. The UT television crew will be filming it as well, and they've told us to invite people to come. So let's make it hype in there so we can get lots of crowd noise and general debauchery for optimum liveness. The loudest participant will be chosen to be interviewed by Full Service at the end of the segment. Be prepared for such soul-searching questions as, "which FS member would you most want to be stranded on an island with?" and "if you could have Bonesaw cook you anything in the world, what would it be?"
We want to make this performance well-attended, so leave some room in your weekend for Sunday, 10-11pm.
Directions to the studio: while going north on guadalupe, take a right on dean keaton. once you're on dean keaton, take your first right into an alley. (i realize this sounds like an elaborate kidnapping scheme). walk down the alley, and look for a door with a big sign on it that will say "Bam Diggle!" Park somewhere on the street though, because you can't drive down the alley. (Unless you're driving a big white whale, like us).
--Hoag
SEPTEMBER 12, 2006 -
dear fansaws,
two things, real quick. i'm going to try to use the least amount of words possible in these next announcements.
1) flamingo great. anyone missed it, make sure come big show october. recently decided doing one big show month in effort to bring together max number fansaws at same time. but...want do october show at non-6th st. venue. in fact, non-bar venue. answer is party. so, if want throw party and have fs jam, contact. or if have ideas concerning party mission, such as place, time, date, contact. FS house party? possible. give thoughts/ruminations.
2) unusual show two sundays from now (sep. 24). live radio 'cast kvrx fm. (91.7 radio dial). UT television filming. want live audience for video and to increase live vibe of radio broadcast. hoot, holler, shout, heckle, request, guest fansaw interviewed by Hoag and Twink at end program. could be you? 10pm, all ages, bring own hoola hoops.
that was under 80 words. "Unbelievable job, Hoag"--Bonesaw
what else is new? oh, i don't know...OUR NEW CD. it's on sale at waterloo here in austin (6th and lamar) and on itunes and myspace (on our page. click "buy now" and enter your credit card information. it won't feel like you've spent any money, because all you're doing is clicking buttons and entering numbers. soft money, baby!) there's something really cool in the liner notes which will take you on a journey to a secret full service web page. where time acts like space and space acts like time. where lime tastes like lemon and lemon tastes like lime.
well, chances are, you all just stopped reading and either headed out to waterloo records or opened up your browser to throw around a little soft money, but i'll continue with this update for the rest of you.
the other big news is that bonesaw broke smell's ankle in a soccer match. it was a semi-dirty play and it caused bonesaw to question his moral fiber.
smell's reaction was typically smelly. he tried to get up and walk around before saying in very real surprise..."i don't....i don't think i can play..."
so bonesaw wrapped a bag of frozen broccoli around the smelly one's ankle and we jammed for a couple hours. then smellman went to blockbuster to get a movie. it hurt, he said, but he'd be alright.
next morning he could barely walk, so he want to the doc and next thing he knows he's got a big plaster case on his foot. many of you who were at the flamingo show signed it with things such as "get well soon", and "Why do bad things happen to smelly people?" he thanks you for your sympathies. but in my conversations with smelly, he said he hates the feeling of not being able to do things for himself. so let's all do him a favor and not do a damn thing for him.
i'd also like to mention that smell has appropriately "smellied" his crutches by wrapping tie-dyed cloth around the handles to his crutches.
big weekend coming up, even though we don't have a show. The ACL festival will be going on and we plan on serving the area by handing out billions and billions of demos and stickers. and of course we'll be doing a takeover. speaking of which....
WHERE SHOULD FS DO A TAKEOVER FOR ACL?
pending your responses, we will officially declare a time and location in the very near future. logistics volunteers are more than welcome.
that's all for now.
eat your pancakes,
hoag
AUGUST 6, 2006 -Another Historic Takeover
They just get more and more badass thanks to Gennifer (our generator). As usual, the latest takeover was a combination of good planning (choice of spot) and bad planning (playing at the hottest part of the day and forgetting to bring the big "Takeover Hydration Cooler") but as always, it was successfully executed.
We set up at the enrance to the Barton Creek Green Belt on 360. Near a stop light. Lots of traffic. It was tax-free day so everybody was out and about buying things and not having to pay tax. Just so happens that they got served along the way HEY OHHHHHH.
Saw a lot of metal hands coming out of car windows, heard a lotta "hoot-hooing", witnessed a few near accidents. There was room to hang out on the grass where we played, so a bunch of cars pulled in and stuck around a while.
In other news, SEND US YOUR EMAIL ADDRESSES so you can come to the show THIS SATURDAY at 9PM.
And brush up on your "yo-mama" jokes because the grand prize is a Mercedes Benz.
July 30, 2006
Let's take a look at last week's to-do list and how we did:
1) Knock Bonesaw unconscious
Ok fine, it wasn't pre-determined and hence was not on the original to -do list, but it was pretty awesome. (since everyone ended up being ok). Let's re-visit this magical moment:
Bonesaw fires a rocket towards the goal. Hoag blocks it adeptly with his left foot. The ball is sent towards the upper layers of the earth's stratosphere. As they await its inevitable descent, they jockey on the ground for position, stretching their necks towards the sky in hopes of heading the ball into their respective goals (the field is small enough such that at mid-field one could conceivably score a goal via an "incredible header").
The ball arrives. Hoag and Bonesaw make their bids, and.....and....and!!!!!????
They miss the ball and hit each other's heads.
Hoag walks around in pain, filling the air with obscenities. He was hit on the forhead, so the pain is manageable but bothersome. He grows concerned when he realizes Bonesaw isn't making any noise.
He turns around and sees him splayed out on the pitch.
Hoag slaps him on the face. No response.
"Twink! Come out here!"
(Twink would later say that he came immediately because he "recognized in Hoag's voice the unmistakeable timbre that characterizes all desperate cries for help. I knew they weren't calling me out there to tell me a joke".)
With Twink keeping watch over The Saw, Hoag runs into the kitchen for a glass of water, which he quickly brings outside and pours on Bonesaw's face.
The water goes up his nose and Bonesaw starts choking.
("Kind of a rude awakening," Hoag later said, "but at least it woke that sucker up.")
Initially the big guy was confused. (1st tell-tale sign of concussion). Then he started to feel a little woozy (2nd tell-tale sign of concussion) and tired (3rd). Ten minutes later he was complaining of a headache (4th and final).
120 minutes later he was back on the pitch, going for headers like he never learned a lesson.
"Pssh...That's our Bonesaw!" remarked Smell.
2) Meet up with Fortress of Attitude (friends from NYC) and play show at Nuno's
This mission was a big success. Granted, hardly anybody came to the show because a) the club is unmarked and invisible from the street and b) we didn't promote it because we're spending all promotional energy and finances for the SUPER-SECRET EMAIL-LIST ONLY FAN APPRECIATION SHOW on AUG. 12th @.....(I can't tell you unless you email BONESAW with your email address).
Anyway, this was a fun show regardless of the size of the crowd, because Fortress of Attitude is a bunch of crazy, hilarious dudes. From their website:
"Fortress of Attitude is a ragtag band of rock extremists, willing to spread rock and roll through ANY MEANS NECESSARY. When the four founding members of Fortress of Attitude (Bomb Threat, Dr. Genius, Sniper Kitty, and Colonel Mustard-Gas) were thrust together in the infamous rock work camps of Country Radio City, they vowed if they ever found a way out, they would dedicate their lives to absolute rock liberation. It wasn't long before Dr. Genius assembled a master escape plan, and the quartet fled to safety in the sewers beneath Rocktropolis, the last free city in the Union. There, they erected their mighty Fortress of Attitude, welcoming all those who still believe in the freedom of rock. From the Fortress, this group of radical insurgents coordinates tactical strikes wherever rock is oppressed in an effort to spread their doctrine of a free rock society."
Look them up on Myspace and listen to "Super Volcano." There's a chance these guys will be joining us again for some tactical strikes in September.
3) Shoot the Album Cover for "Recess"
The cops said we couldn't have a camera on the roof of Dawson Elementary School, and that there were too many people on the grounds, but our friend Ron negotiated us a span of 30 minutes to complete the shoot. Mission accomplished. The results are fantastic. You will see it at the OFFICIAL CD RELEASE SHOW @ The Flamingo Cantina on September 8th.
4) Continue planning for the Aug. 12th show.
This show is for email-listers only, so hurry! Send your email address to BONE for an official invite. Or should I say...."evite".
The evening's festivities will include Stand Up Comedy, a "Yo-Mama" Dissing Contest, a drum solo by the Hoagmonster, a bass solo by the Twinkmonster, many guitar solos by the Bonemonster, a Full Service Trivia Contest, a Pool-Noodle Dance Extravaganza, Full Service Karaoke, and performances by Euphoria and (duh...) Full Service.
5) Play show at pizza place in Kerville
The place was called the Downtowner. Good pizza. Tasty sauce, thin crust, and variety of toppings make Hoag a happy man. Kerville is a small town, so even though we've never been there, a pretty decent sized crowd of stoners came out as a result of just a few conveniently-placed flyers around town. (The owners of the pizza place put them out for us, thanks hombres). It was good to meet you guys, we'll definitely be back to satisfy your groove-metal and reggae cravings.
6) Get new shirts for the ladies
They arrived on Monday. All you Bo-Ding out there...I hope you've saved up $10 ($12 online) so you can pick up your new Full service shirt. They are white, with "Full Service" written on the front in pink, and "Groupiesaw" on one of the tiny girly sleeves. I've seen one on FS superfan G-Bo, and she looked stunning. You can order them through our website (and soon on Ourspace) using paypal.
See you soon, and be careful of the sun.
Hoag
JULY 16, 2006 - It's been a while...I shouldn't left you...without a dope rhyme to step to. (anybody?)
anyway, let's see, what's happened recently...
well before we get to the music I'd like to mention an engineering feat of such dramatic proportions that an apt and thorough report of it's greatness must be recorded immediately.
for a while now, our jam room has been at about 120 degrees. after jams our bodies feel like freakin volcanoes.
so bonesaw and i built an outdoor shower.
a very makeshift, budget outdoor shower. one that i think our friends back home--with whom we've scored similar coups of resourceful buildsmanship--will especially appreciate.
rather than describe it to you, i'll show you this photo:
what else...we played Fitzgerald's in Houston a few weeks ago, but the slideshow from that experience really says it all. many thanks to LSPS for putting on such a fresh night for those out-of-their-mind Houstonians. (Tony Loco dove from the upper balcony. YEEEEEEEEOW. kinda risky. Successfull--and badass--but kinda risky. smellman and i were involved in the catching-crew. tony made it easy, he totally spread out like one of those sugar-gliders or flying-squirrels).
last week we had a bumpin show at Velvet Spade with Motionside and Halix and Bright Shadow. it was Agju's 21st birthday, so he was calling the shots. he wanted us to play "Ice Cream Cone" first, which was weird but I think it actually kind of worked out. Anyway, thanks to all the fine women that came out to this one. (am i kidding?)
do we have all your emails, so you can get invited to the huge awesome secret show on Aug. 12th?
(email bone@fullservicemusic.com if not)
and if you're reading this sometime before Tuesday, july 18th, @ 6pm, come over to our house at 3601 Wilson St. Austin TX 78704 (mapquest it), and be involved in our photoshoot for the cover of the new album, "Recess". we're meeting here then going over to the park, which is less than a mile from our house.
JUNE 26, 2006 -today we finished the tracks for "The Wild Kingdom", so now all we have to do is get them mixed, which of course takes a while. Jon Millican and Stuart Sullivan are on the case though, believe me. The word "workhorses" comes to mind.
The release party will be at the Flamingo Cantina in early September, and we're hoping to have Lonestar Pornstar (Houston), Euphoria (reggae/hybrid/good melodies ), and Smile and Nod (tasty/spacy/groove/clean) at the show with us.
However, there will be a pre-release show at an undisclosed location as early as August 11th. It is invitation only however, and if we don't have your email (real email, not myspace email), we can't invite you. so email BONESAW with your address and name, pronto!
Recently we had a show at the Troubador Saloon down on 6th st. Mike Blackhurst's band Tiller's Will played before us. They had a really cute girl playing bass and she could lay it down with the sickness, too, which was even more of a turn on. *sigh*. Where art though?
Before we went on we all took the banner out to the street and made a big ruckus about the "FREE SHOW AT THE TROUBADOR SALOON! VERY GOOD TIMES TO BE HAD AT THE TROUBADOR SALOON! WONDERFUL SOUNDS COMING FROM DRUMS, GUITAR, BASS, AND PERCUSSION!" click this link for a little video documentation of our guerilla ways:
Anyway the show was a blast. Lopez even came up and flowed for a minute. Here are some photos:
What are you guys doing this Friday the 30th? Anybody wanna come to the Dizzy Rooster and hear us play a long set from 8pm-10pm? Get your pre-game on while getting served, then afterwards take us out somewhere and buy us some drinks! Actually f*** drinks, buy us some ice cream cones.
June 23, 2006 -
(photos taken by Susaw)
we didn't have a show last weekend, but we have one this weekend at the troubador saloon on 6th and neches. this friday, 10:30, 21 and up, but if you're with a parent you can get in for sure.
so lately we've been hunkering down and finishing those recordings. the new record, which was gonna be a double album, is now going to be one monster album called "The Wild Kingdom", with 21 tracks.
other than that, we've been playing basketball and working on our individual band projects.
Take Smell, for instance. One of his jobs was to make a database of texas college radio stations. He came by the headquarters yesterday with a fuckin Excel Spreadsheet. (We're planning a Texas College tour this fall, which we're thinking about calling "Toursaw IV").
One of his other jobs was to book a super top secret "Wild Kingdom" Pre-release party on Aug. 11-12 @ an undisclosed location (don't tell anyone about it).
Anyway Smelly booked the show. but don't tell anyone. it's very top secret.
If you want more information, you have to be on our email list. So get on the list!
And I've been getting radio play for us in various Texas Cities, and organizing call-in barrages to KLBJ 93.7.
And Bonesaw bought us a CD duplicator machine so we can crank out demos with rare tracks/pre-releases/live tracks.
And Twink has been doing some stuff. some stuff. nothin too crazy. a few phone calls. but he's on the rise, look out. look OUT.
The following pictures are of Bonesaw, Smell, and I hacking the shit out of each other playing basketball, and then there's a picture of our car port that got destroyed in a hail/wind storm. The coolest part of this event was getting to partake in some serious demoliton the following morning. Then we piled all the pieces in the whale and brought it to the dumpster behind the chuck e. cheese.
JUNE 3, 2006 -Where did I leave you last, faithful reader? Ah…we were in Boston.
So twice a year, my brother Tyler, who covers the Yankees for The New York Times, competes in a media-game; the new york media vs. the boston media. One game is held at Yankee Stadium, one game at Fenway Park in Boston. And it happens, to our great fortune, that Tyler’s game in Boston fell just two days after our show in Hartford. The decision to take a longer way home to Philadelphia and stop by Fenway to watch my brother pitch was an easy one.
We pulled into Boston around dinner time on Monday night. Checked into the Marriott hotel that Tyler got us using his Marriott points, and—bundled up in sweatshirts because of the shivery boston air—went looking for a place to eat. We came across a Chinese place that was called “Pu-Put Hot Pot”. We all made the obvious jokes, and crossed the street to a pizza place. The pizza was great but what I’ll remember most about that night was, of course, “Pu-Put Hot Pot”. I mean c’mon.
Our bellies full, we walked back to the Marriott to watch the Spurs choke on a major bone and lose game 7 of the western conference semi-finals to the Mavericks. We all went to bed pretty early because we were supposed to meet Tyler at 7am sharp in the lobby the next morning. (we ended up being 5 minutes late, but I'm pretty sure Tyler said 7am so we would be there by 7:15, in which case, were we not then 10
minutes early?)
Fenway park is a quiet place at 7:30 in the morning. Tyler led us to an obscure entrance at the side of the stadium where we met a late 20's, hungover-looking usher, who nodded his head and waved us in-all while yawning. Security at this place is tight, we all
agreed.
From there we cut through the cavernous hallways, into the lower level seating, and hopped the 3rd base fence onto the field. Smell and I immediately ran off
towards centerfield, pretending to chase down a towering fly ball, while Twinky-P watched and while Bonesaw played long-toss with Tyler.
We explored nearly every part of the field. Did you know that there are tomato plants growing in the visitor's bullpen? We still haven't figured out why.
The coolest place was by far the interior of the green monster. We met the guy who flips the scoring panels (like the usher, also in his late 20's and also looking somewhat hung-over). He gave us a tour of the place and showed us where lot of major-league stars,
past and present, have signed the concrete wall, and where, 40 years ago, the old scoring panel-flipper kept track of Ted Williams' homeruns with little "x's". He then gave me a pen to sign our names with, so I drew a Full Service logo near, but sufficiently and reverently far enough away from, the little "x's".
By this point, the game was about to start, so we snapped a few photos of ourselves on the field and took our seats above the dugout to watch the game. My brother's team, the Yankees media, went ahead early in the first inning with a 10 run,
everybody-hits barrage.
Tyler played magnificently, pitching 9 shutout innings, picking off a runner on second base with a nifty twirling move (fist pump!), and contributing to the offensive blood-bath with a single to right-field. And fellow music lover and friend of the Service, Jack
Curry (baseball writer for the Times) smashed a triple into left field in the 7th.
Other highlights of our visit to fenway?
*Twink and Smell somehow managed to get into the superboxes, where they discovered a refrigerator full of beer. (Alas, they decided it was simply too early in the morning to take advantage of this find).
*Dancing on top of the dugout to Marvin Gaye during the 7th inning stretch.
*Chowing down on the free lunch-spread after the game. Cold-cuts, baby. Cold-cuts.
So our trip to Boston was everything we thought it would be and way more (Pu-Pu Hot Pot), and we drove out of the city feeling fulfilled, and of course,
proud of our big brother.
worms.
But whatever, we made it home. Buzz off, Full Service.
So we arrived back into Philly at Momsaw and Dadsaw's
on Tuesday night. Our next show was in New York City
on Friday.
Naturally, we spent Wednesday and Thursday playing
basketball at the nearby park. Everyone has really
improved on this tour. Bonesaw has developed an
outside jumper which forces me to guard him closely at
all times. Before, I would give him space to prepare
myself for his inevitable hard (but slow) drive to the
basket. Twinky, for his part, has developed more of a
court awareness, and, even if he still has next to no
touch with the ball, he has still learned to use his
hyperactivity to his advantage, challenging smell for
loose balls and swooping in with the occasional
rejection. As for Smell, he has become first and
foremost a driver. Whereas he used to spot up from the
outside and shoot jump-shots, he has now taken it upon
himself to slash to the basket with remarkable
determination and creativity. And I? I too, have
become a more creative driver, but the real area of my
improvement is in my offensive rebounds, and in my
ability to find my dreadlocked teammate when my drives
to the basket draw Twinky-P away from his man.
We also played a little baseball during this last week
of the tour. How can four people play baseball, you
ask? It is possible, my dear reader, with a careful
reconstruction of the rules. We play with a wiffle
ball bat and a tennis ball, we play that you have to
get to second base for a single, we play with pegs,
and we play with a slightly revised "pitcher's
paradise", whereby you can send a runner back to the
base but you cannot record an out.
Smell and I won both games.
The show in New York City was a huge success. We made
a bunch of money, sold a bunch of CD's, and there was
a good-sized crowd there. The only bad thing was that
I broke a neon Budweiser sign while adjusting the PA
speaker.
The night after the NYC show, we played at the Grape
St. Pub in Philadelphia, which also turned out to be
an awesome show. Many many MANY family friends came
out. Morgan Betz, Lauren Davis! Great to see you guys.
I called you to play baseball the next day, Mogue, but
you didn't pick up! Zach Thompson, Kristen Dougherty,
such hardcore fans, thanks for coming. K double V and
Whitmaaaaaaash, Moleman and the newly fianceed
Abigail, the Lisko family, Pam and Frank "Brownie"
Serra.the list goes on. Thank you all for the crazy
amount of support you continue to show.
We got some video of the show (thanks Aimster!) that
we'll have up ASAP.
Also, everybody should do themselves a favor and hop
on the Josh Dion bandwagon. This guy, and his band, is
amazing. Google him. And do what you can to see these
guys live. It's like Stevie Wonder was reborn as a
mid-20's white kid.
After Grape St., we spent a few days at Momsaw and
Dadsaws then started the long trip back to Austin.
I will close out the Toursaw III diary with a little
anecdote that I think epitomizes the life of a touring
Full Service. (Speaking of anecdotes, did you guys
know that Twink does not like stories or books, and is
interested only in anecdotes? How weirder can this guy
get?)
Anyway, we pulled into Carthage, TN after 13 hours of
driving during our first day of the trip back to
Austin. It was late, maybe 11pm, and Smell and I
really wanted to find some milk for our nighttime
cereal ritual. We walked down to the Exxon Food Mart.
Closed. We walked over to the BP food mart. Closed. We
looked down the street and saw a Waffle House. It
didn't look open, and even if it was open, would they
have milk to sell us? Plus, it looked like a far walk.
We said fuck it and started walking back to the hotel.
"What about that McDonald's?" I pointed.
"Maybe, but it looks like only the drive-through is
open", replied the Smelly one.
Fully aware (from experience) that most McDonalds' do
not extend the use of their drive-through window to
pedestrians, we nevertheless made an attempt.
It didn't start out well. A truck full of teenagers
almost ran us over as we crossed the parking lot,
yelling-in their thick southern drawl-" get outta the
way, hippies!!" We felt the love.
But when we got to the drive though window, the 19
year old dude in the headset said "fuck those people,
I know them, they're assholes." (Small town, we
thought to ourselves). "Anyway, what can I get you
guys?"
We told him our story. We're on our way back to Austin
and we have cereal in the van but no milk. Does
McDonald's have any milk they could sell us? He said
yes. we thanked him, and took our place behind the
other cars while we waited for our milk at the next
window. (We pretended we were on motorcycles so we
didn't look out of place amidst all the other
vehicles. We even made engine-revving sounds, which,
in retrospect, probably didn't help us "blend in").
Anyway, we got to the next window, forked over the
$1.15 each for a little kids-sized carton of milk
(with a wordsearch puzzle on the label: "fries,"
"burger", "shake", "soda", and "Ronald"), and returned
to our room.
Two closed convenience stores, a too-far-away Waffle
House, an angry truckload of redneck teenagers, and
carbon monoxide fumes: and we STILL managed to find
some milk for our cereal. Never give up.
NEVER..GIVE...UP.
So that's it for Toursaw III. All of you Austinites
reading this, of ALL AGES, be sure to clear your
evening schedules for our welcome home show on June
10th at Stubb's (11pm, $10 cover).
Go see X-Men III it's the greatest movie of all time,
Hoag
MAY 24, 2006 -after the fitchburg show we drove back to the hotel, unloaded our bags, and hurried into the room to eat some cereal. only we didn't have any spoons.
"there's some in the cooler", yelled bonesaw from the bathroom.
i asked twink to come with me back to the whale. he said yes and we left the room and walked down the hall towards the exit. on the way to the van we talked about steve nash. we came to the conclusion that he's an amazing player.
when we got to the van i unlocked the passenger side door to the backseat and started rummaging through the cooler for some spoons. i came away with 2 spoons (one in celophane, the other not) and two forks. i then slammed the door shut, and suddenly my stomach fell off a ciff...
"uh-oh," i said. "do you have the keys?"
"no dude." twink looked scared, like he was afraid of what i was about to say.
"i locked the keys in the car," I said. it was 1:45 AM.
i called AAA, they said they'd be there in an hour and a half, i went to sleep, got a phone call at 3:15, went outside to meet the guy, got the keys back, then returned to the room with the problem solved.
it sucked.
the next morning we drove out to Cumberland Rhode Island for our show at the Blackstone later that night. when we got to the hotel we asked the receptionist if she could point us in the direction of a basketball court. she did a mapquest, like a champ, and we were off in the whale to play some 21. (twink stayed at the hotel with a back injury, from which he has since recovered). we played two games of 21. Bonesaw won the first, I won the second. Then we met a guy who wanted to play 2-on-2, so me and smell wrecked up on bonesaw and homedude.
the show at the blackstone was a total success. good crowd. pont and whit came out again, total Fansaw all-stars. they're more than fansaws at this point, they're almost like a part of the band. we got some great pics from the show, thanks to (WHAT'S HIS NAME, BONESAW??) (I hav no idea, but it's Rockband Photos). check 'em out.
afterwards, smell and i took pont and whit to school at the foosball table.
----
we set out early the next morning for west hartford, where we'd be playing the next day for tim's old students from Kingswood-Oxford, now graduating. we got sammy, mack, chazzer, pont, whit, and little whit to play a game of full court at the high school gym, then we went back to the bellingraths for dinner. chucker b cooks up mean chicken dishes and taste-the-rainbow deserts.
bonesaw later crashed his old students' senior prom, while twink, smell, and i met up with pont, whit, and fellow fansaw Rose, to play darts at the local bar, and ladies and gentlemen, this night, the man you all know as twinky-p officially recieved a new nickname due to an impossibly heroic feat at the dart-line.
with smell and twink still in need of two bullseye points, and hoag and rose biting at their stinky, colombian heels, twinky-p danced up to the line amidst hoots and hollers, shit-talking, and distracting conversation. with zen-like serenity he flung the dart towards the wall. all eyes followed it through the air, and all voices erupted when the dart landed squarely, undeniably, DIVINELY....in the red-area of the bullseye. 2 bullseye points. game over. twinky-p danced around the room, on another planet, basking in the glory of his improbable shot.
we now call him "Bullseye".
after the game, Ole' Bullseye announced his retirement from darts, saying simply "i've accomplanished everything i wanted to accomplish. it's time for another challenge."
later the night we ended up hanging out at rose's house. he has a big barn in his backyard that's basically exactly what i've always envisioned when i think about the Full Service Compound. The barn is divided into two parts. On one side, there's a boat, a loft with sofas and chairs and a coffee table. on the other side, there's a basketball court with walls on all sides, enabling off-the-wall passes like indoor soccer. we played. we weren't sober. smell and i forfeited because i started to feel faint because of my hypoglycemia. rose fed me a bagel and i felt better.
many thanks to whit and the whitney family for letting us crash at their house that night.
the next morning we played the K-O senior day. kinda trippy. i used to coach some of these kids with tim when they were on the middle school football team. monkey, keep being cool, sammy, good luck at assumption with your big bro. charwold, thanks for the crunch-dip intro. and chucker b....let us know how the video turns out. (stay tuned, ya'll, it's gonna be cool).
after the show we went up to boston to watch my brother play in the new york/boston media baseball game at fenway park the next day.
but alas, it is late, and i will tell of our Boston Adventures in another update.
---hoag
MAY 20, 2006 -ok this update is going to be in cliffs notes form, because we have to leave in about ten minutes to find a place to eat before out show tonight in cumberland, Rhode Island. time me...
nyc show: unloading in terrential downpour. are the tour-gods mad at full service? pressure from club owner, pete, to bring a shitload of people because two other bands didn't show up and the other band only drew 4 people. but fear not! friends and family came through in the clutch. we played an extra long set--lots of new songs and unusual decisions. the mastodon cover: bad call?
NYC part II at the Big Easy on the upper east side on Friday May 26th.
thanks to mat szwajkos, an old school family homie. crazy night after the show. first we hung out with whitsaw and pontsaw at the club until it closed. while there, this dynamic duo told us a story that may very well prove they are the two most hardcore Full Service fans out there today. long story short, after taking the train all the way from the Bronx to be at our show in asbury park, NJ last weekend, they ended up missing their train BACK to the city and had to hitch a ride with the hot-dog guy outside the club in asbury park. tremendous, guys.
anyway, after we left kenny's castaways, twink, smell, mat, and i ended up playing photo hunt at some empty bar at 330am. i mean, we ended up partying with lots of beatiful girls in bikinis.
rough drive up to fitchburg the nest day. more rain. the darkest clouds i've ever seen. it looked like the scene from the first Matrix where Morpheus is telling Neo about the wasting of the world (machines using up all available energy sources, destroying the sun, etc). my driving shift was 3.5 hours, but only about 100 miles. smell took it home to fitchburg like the up and coming action hero he is.
fitchburg: would've been awesome. tons of people there at 9pm when we (finally) got to the club. huge banners advertising "Full Service from Ausin, TX!!". alas, a communication breakdown between the manager of the club (who went AWOL for a few days due to a hard-to-explain emergency) and the club staff. we were supposed to play at 11pm, right in the middle of 5 other bands, but we ended up playing to an empty house at 1am. oh, and we had to eat chiken sandwiches from (gasp!) McDonald's because it was the only place open at 11pm (except for Bonesaw, who ate a cliff-bar). morale was low this morning, but we made an entertaining trip to the grocery store that refreshed our spirits.
tonight we're in cumberland, RI. i'll let you know how it go!
hoag
MAY 14, 2006
Toursaw III began early Wednesday morning. We started driving. And kept driving. For about 12 hours.
Hours are really not the best way to measure time, however. The best way to measure time is by counting how many times we imitate Twink. The first day, it was probably in the low 40s, which is remarkable.
we stayed the night in Forrest City, TN. Grabbed some Subway, watched some NBA playoffs, farted a lot.
the second day was more of the same. we stayed the night in Huntington, West Virginia. I think. I really have no idea. we stopped somewhere in Kentucky at a big open field and played some two on two soccer. bonesaw and twink beat me and smell 3-1. we were furious and didnt speak to bonesaw and twink for about 35 minutes.
we ate buffet-style at the golden corral and hung out for a while with the extremely friendly wait-staff. I think I ate some brisket or something. thats what it smelled like later, at least.
the hotel had two beds last night, so twink and smell shared a bed, which is always entertaining to watch. twink of course went to bed fully clothed, as is his custom when sleeping with Young Buck (smell). but midway through the night the sneaky Colombian sat up and took off his shirt. 5 seconds later I heard smell whisper, yessssss!
and let it be remembered that this night in huntington, smell christened hoag with a new nickname: M.A. Buck, which stands for Middle Aged Buck (a somewhat clever answer to the name hoag gave smell, Young Buck).
The next day we drove into Cumberland Maryland to stay with Toursaw I friends The Newlyweds (Mark and Jennifer Flemming). First they showed us the Full Service tattoos they had gotten a week before.
Then we played some basketball with mark and Kaitlyn (their daughter). Smell and I got into a huge fight. yada yada yada. feelings were hurt on both sides. I think smell was being a jerk and he thinks I was being a jerk, but, when I later bashed my shin into a table, we both agreed it was karma, thus proving that it was I who was the main jerk that day. (damn!)
later that night we played a show at the local watering hole and had a freakin blast. the newlyweds are two of the most kind-hearted, sincere, fun-loving people on the planet. thank you, guys, for opening your doors to us. it was so sweet hanging out in The Compound (the basement) with their dog mocha (who ate two brownies by accident. special brownies. will she ever be the same?) and with their other dog, Old Woman Dog. (that thing is a survivor).
well be back soon guys, we promise.
the next day we drove into philly, spent a little time at the Kepner household, then set sail again, this time for Asbury park, NJ. Killer show. This local band Sprout played after us, very cool guys. I suggest you all check them out on myspace. Im serious, they got their shit together, and their just good, quality dudes.
Judge: way to bring a crowd. Pont and Witt: your allegiance is iron. Dude selling hot-dogs outside: twink says he still hasnt digested your fine culinary achievement.
so that brings us to today, mothers day. happy mothers day, mothers!
we played ball again, about an hour ago. smell and I once made the declaration that twink and bonesaw would never beat us. well today it happened. they won the first game of our best of 3 tournament. their first game EVER. congratulations guys. (we took the next 2 though, despite smell going about 2 for 25 from the field and despite my strange inability to guard bonesaw effectively in the low post.)
I smell too bad to continue writing this update. Ill write more after our show in boston tomorrow night.
--hoag
APRIL 29, 2006 -Well after Bonesaw and I went AWOL for about a week while we went home to Philly for a wedding and to do yard work for our parents, we came back and got back to work recording albums, playing shows, organizing backyard soccer tournaments, and getting splinters removed (i had two in 3 days. one was wood, the other was a sliver of metal. thank you corrinne for getting them out with the care that only a mother can provide).
since i don't have a job anymore, i've had a lot of time to work on the album. this past week smell and i laid down all the percussion tracks, and bonesaw got a bunch done with the guitar tracks. vocals are also coming along well. "Ramona"? ridiculously filthy song. ("filthy" means good, all you squares out there!). i'm telling you all right now--and remember that i said this--Ramona will be everyone's favorite song on this album. fuck it, maybe not, who knows. maybe it's just my favorite song. i don't know. i didn't sleep much last night. we had a show in houston at Fitzgerald's (which I'll talk more about later), and I drank a Starbuck's Italian Roast tall boy can of iced coffee so i'd stay awake from 12:45-3:30am. I don't like Starbucks. I don't drink coffee. It hit me hard. Took long time to cool down and fall asleep. was very chattery. never even handed off the steering wheel to smell, as planned. i felt like beavis after he took those caffeine pills on the plane.
anyway...
before we went to Houston on Saturday, we played in Austin at the Velvet Spade with Freebleeder. as usual, we had a great time. we were hoping to play outside but there was a heinous rumor about "rain", so we were moved inside. but, mysteriously, it never rained. i alerted our cat Jack Bauer and he's looking into a possible conspiracy.
speaking of jack, he caught a fucking bird and brought it into the house. bonesaw wrapped the bird in a shirt and brought it outside, and miraculously, it flew away unharmed. jack, the was a naughty and cruel thing to do, but i gotta say...i'm kinda proud of you, big guy.
anyway, the show at the spade was tight. many thanks to some new Space-Fans that came out. (Liz, Janna, and Audrey). Liz was very impressed. She said "wow, you guys can bake the freakin' POTATO!". strangely enough, i think i know what she means. Janna was brutally honest..."I came despite the song you have on the internet, Boons With Boards. I didn't really think it was a good song. But I thought I'd give you a chance live, though, and i gotta say it was pretty badass."
The next day we went to Houston and found out that 71 West to I-10 West is a way better route than 290. Write that down...
Man, Fitzgerald's is a badass venue. incredible sound. the bill was choc-full of hammer-dropping goodness. First it was 57 State from San Marcos, rap-rock mayhem. cool dudes.
Then it was us. we opened with a little "Freezing Dub", always a good choice. it lets us kinda sneak in there, and let's the crowd finish up their conversations and get their feet planted and ready for the show. the rest of the show is a blissfull blur. we covered Mastodon's "Blood and Thunder" which is a fucking monster of a song, and a joy to play. BREAK YOU BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS, MEN!! Hell yeah.
Moon Cradle was bad-ass. Just thought I'd say that.
Susan (Street Team co-queen) took some sweet photos. many many many thanks to Susan and Kathy for making the trip from Austin and helping sell a lot of merch and carrying a lot of (lightweight) equipment.
after we played, Faceplant--Houston legends--took the stage and tore it to shreds. those guys know how to put on a show. anybody who hasn't seen them, i strongly reccommend you do so. They've been around a long time and are crazy fun to watch. we quoted one of their songs during "Single Note Slayer" as a little tribute to their bad-assness.
then of course it was Lonestar Pornstar who played with a HUUUGE sound. what can i say about these guys? Houston loves them. There was huge fuckin rowdy-ass pit in the middle of the floor, it was nuts. that's awesome.
time to watch the Suns-Lakers game. I'm out.
--Hoag
APRIL 14-17, 2006 -
4-16-06
Liquid Salvation, a small water company based in tahoe, is going to hook us up with a bunch of water.
they'll be selling in texas soon, so be on the lookout for these dudes. i put 'em in our top 8 if you want to check them out. i kicked t-unit off the team and re-placed him with Liquid Salvation. (for having that party at our house. you'll never live it down, t-unit0. i also took kathy off and replaced her with The Walker Project. Wait till you all see how much trouble I get in for that.
man, full service is a bunch of fuckin SELL-outs.
4-15-06 The Walker Project, a clothing-line/custom surfboard company based in San Diego, has officially joined the Full Service family (and visa versa). It's founder, Mike Walker, is a young dude like ourselves who got started real young on his dream and built one of those rare successful-businesses-that-is-also-a-cool-business. From their website: go check 'em out! and welcome them to the crew!
anyway, what i'm trying to say is, it was hot this weekend at the Austin Reggae Festival. Even when we played (noon on the first day), it was stovey out there. that's a new word. stovey: to be as hot as a stove.
the stoner sound guys were all really cool and hooked us up with incredible sound. and the stage was a beast. easily one of the cooler shows we've ever played. we opened with "freezing dub", then "battleship", "oh kill me", "alpine", "water", "3 Will Ride Forth", and "Legs".
A ton of fans came out and of course there were a few hundred people there anyway, so it was a good taste of what's to come for us bozos. (wink-wink)
we spent the rest of the day just hanging out and listening to the other bands. every band was holding it down, it was great. my favorite was lionhead. grimy styles was pretty awesome too.
we also handed out a lot of demos and stuff. if you're reading this and you got a demo, tell us what you think. even if it's bad. "man, hoag sounds like a stupid butthead".
so later that night, after visits to creeks and long naps, we headed over to somebody's house for an after-party. we played from 1030 to 1230. a lot of new stuff. very righteous party. everybody was in the mood. the house was cool, too. i gotta got when of those hammocks on my porch.
the party was full of people smell works with at rockin tomato (rockin tomato). seems like a very cool crew. one that likes to party, that's for sure.
so the shows this weekend were a freakin blast. we did a live interview from the stage with ME TV, and apparently we were featured on the morning news, so that's cool. many thanks againt to sharon jones for booking us there.
we actually have another show on Monday the 17th at the Velvet Spade. We'll play a lot of new ones, so that's your incentive to come out. and i THINK kevin malone will be out there with his barbecue pit (free food). freebleeder's also gonna do an acoustic set before hand. get there at 9 i'd say. it's 21 and up.
the recordings are going real well. we have all the basic tracks recorded (drums, guitar, and bass--live), and about half of them half the rest of the guitar tracks. and some of them have some percussion. We're really trying to have it ready before the tour, but we'll see. we'll do it. we gotta do it.
PS--i know the sun is way longer than hundreds of miles away. duh. they don't even measure it in miles they measure it in laser-years of something.
4/14/06
Basketball: Hoag/Smell (11), Bonesaw/Twink (9)
The streak continues.
New Neighbors: Well, not new. They've always been there. But Daniel and Dominic are the two kids down the street who own that basketball net we've been playing on. really cool dudes. then we met these kids named Terminator and Dragon who also use the basketball net. Terminator likes to randomly break into the knee-ankle-dance, it's hilarious.
Branch Gone: We haven't been able to play badminton because there was this huge dead branch that fell and got stuck right above the net. It was a pain in the ass to play with this huge ass branch covering the upper plains of the court-space, so that's why we've been playing so much basketball lately. but the other day we found a big rope, tied a rock around the end of it, threw it up around the dead branch, got all hands on deck and just tugged the rope and swing the branch down. it crashed to the ground amidst our triumphant shouts.
Reggae-Fest: We're playing the reggae-fest tomorrow down at auditorium shores. all ages. NOON. bring $10 or 2 cans of food and $7. It's up to you. Alright we'll see you there. Bumpin.
Hoag
APRIL 2, 2006
Holy 4 straight-days-of-shows, batman! holy lots-of-different-kinds-of-venues-and-atmospheres! holy lots-of-money-made! holy really-cute-girls-from-venezuela-who-we-basically-ditched-so-we-could-go-eat-dinner! holy that-was-a-really-bad-idea!!
BAM!!!!!!!! KAPOW!!!!!!!!! THWAP!!!!!!!!
sorry about that.
i don't really know what just happened.
(shakes head and rubs eyes)
so this week we had 4 shows in a row, starting on wednesday at the Flamingo Cantina. That one was a weird show. It was very last minute, so we couldn't do much promotion or anything. And it was a wednesday so it was kinda quiet downtown. mucho silencio, as twink would say.
nonetheless, many of the harder-core FS fans came out, so we thought we'd play mostly new songs. it's always weird breaking a song in live. we didn't even have words for the new ones we played. and the whole time, you're thinking "wait what's next? damn i fucked that little part up!" Basically it feels like your head is playing the songs, not your blood.
the new ones were called....actually they don't even have names yet. i'm trying to describe them to you and i just can't. you have to come see us do it again sometime. come to think of it, we're having a "50% new songs" show on april 17th at the Velvet Spade. 9-11pm.
the next day we played at our second Invisible Children benefit concert put on by the St. Edward's University U.N. Alliance. I know you remember what I'm talking about. C'mon....that thing a few months ago?
(sighs)
Just kidding, it's cool. I'll tell you. The Invisible Children is a movie that three college dudes from california made. it's a documentary of their random trip to Uganda in search of nothing in particular. Just an experience. They ended up finding out about some terrible things going on right under the world's nose. Children being kidnapped and forced to be soldiers in the armies of waring factions. The many dimensions of horror involved in that scenario are obvious.
Anyway, it's a disturbing movie. But an incredible one. Provocative. Earnest. Desperate. www.invisiblechildren.com
So we played before they screened the movie, in the fairly-large campus coffee house. We played for two hours, so the FS thermometers and barometers were all over the place.
After the show, as we were carrying things out, two girls sitting casually at a nearby table called over to us. "Yo!" they said, "Play for us! Did we miss the concert?"
"Indeed," I says. She has a spanish accent, full of a breeze.
She. "Well could you play a little mini one for us right now"
Me. "[Aw shucks, we gotta get goin, blah blah blah] ok well why the hell not?"
Twink on one conga, smell on the bongos, I on the floor tom, with hands:
"BOOMBADADADABOOMBADDAdABOOMdododododBOOOOOOMbadadadadadadadadadBOOOOMBOOOOMBOOOM"
[laughter, clapping]
Much talking with each other. 25 year old foreign exchange students. Gorgeous. But we were hungry, so we left. So stupid.
Anyways, the next night we played at Ruta Maya for a party being thrown by a new magazine in San Antonio (and eventually, everywhere) called "iungo". It's a magazine about the local arts community, but it has a very international flare. we met the editors and staff at the party and they were extremely cool, creative, spirited people. www.goiungo.com. They also wrote a great article about us!
The set-up for the show was this: Acoustic. Smelly couldn't be there, so I sang and played bongos and shaker, while Twinky P. Escobar played a soft bass, and while Bonesaw played his acoustic gooter. Sean Claes from InSite Magazine here in Austin invited us to play, so many thanks to that saw-bone for hooking it up.
Some people you should check out. Anthony Flores, slam poet. He did an incredible piece paying homage to San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobli. Also, a designer named Roldano Murillo. He designed Anthony's book and layout, and business cards for iungo. Really weird designs and mediums.
Much love to The Patness for coming out solo to check out a side of Full Service she's never heard before, and to check out a magazine she's never seen before. An art student herself, she said the whole thing actually inspired her for her own projects, which is the point of this whole deal I guess, right? Right.
On Saturday night we went out to Houston to play a show with Dave's Not Here. I've got a new name for those guys. Dave's Not Nice. Actually it was just the singer that was a jerk. The other dudes were cool, and actually the band was badass. There was just a weird situation out in the parking lot. But anyway, the show was raucous. Acadia has great sound, and great people tambien. la gente es bueno. Andele! The chunk was thick onstage.
I had a great ride home with Smell (bonesaw was in the backseat asleep). We talked of many things. Like those weird shorts twink wears that look like boxers, but that Twink swears are in fact shorts.
So that was the weekend. Batman.
IMPORTANT UPCOMING SHOWS:
"50% New Songs" show at the Velvet Spade on Monday April 17th from 9pm to 11pm. That's and hour of new songs. Hear 'em at their most raw.
MARCH 20, 2006 -man....i'm kind of daunted about this next update. i don't really wanna do it. bonesaw's watching Lord of the Rings in the other room. that's what i want to be doing.
so i'm not gonna do one of my epic entries. i'm thinking photo-journal.
just so we're all on the same page, here was our schedule this week. on wednesday we played from 1-2:30 at the Dizzy Rooster for the AIA showcase. Then later that night we played at Nuno's. on thursday we played the big one at 11pm at the Dizzy Rooster. friday afternoon we did a live performance on Austin Public Access TV, and then did an interview. i don't think we have any pictures of that experience, so i'll be a little more talkative about that one because it was freaking hilarious.
WED.
before the show i did my bonesaw impression. i think it's pretty good. and smell's not really trying to look like twink i guess. lord knows twink doesn't stand still like that with his freakin eyes close. that's pure smelly, right there. i think you can see twink in the background playing the congas like a colombian street pauper.
yeah, i mean not that many people were there, it was pretty freakin early, but we had fun anyways. that's the new bass drum right there. painted the white whale on that bad boy. did some painting on the tom, too, i don't know if you can see what it says. and there were so many stickers floating around during SXSW, i was able to get the bass drum pretty tatted up. anyway, this is the same venue that would be BUMPIN' about 10 hours later during our 3rd show of the week. but at 1pm on the first day of the festival, things were relatively low-key.
that's twink gettin his slam-dance on. he's really an amazing creature. look at the way he's able to negotiate his wiry frame into such high-voltage contortions.
oh, and check it out. you can see the tail of the whale in the bottom right. see it? yeah. i love the white whale.
anyway, we don't have any photos of the show at nuno's yet, but it was alright. it was kind of a country-blues place, and we promoted for the Thursday night show, so this one was all just about who was going to be at the bar that night, and there were some people, but it wasn't getting too rowdy or anything. we had a bunch of people outside to my right, by the railing. they were jammin with us pretty hard, and some hardcore fans came out so it was a fun show. my bass drum kept sliding away from me (there's something wrong with the pegs), so finally Manny from LSPS just said screw it and came up and sat in front of my bass drum for the rest of the set. played the shaker with us, too. a freakin' BOMB shaker, i might add.
THURSDAY
during the day we went down and set up a listening booth. it was actually kind of a big hit. we had all these different people from strange places come up and hang out for a little. some writers from japan, a group of vacationers from london, some guy in a really convincing, frightening alien outfit.
your boy hoagie droppin the hammer
my man john workin the sound at the rooster
twink, telling the crowd he wants a peanut butter and honey sandwich. NOW!
a rare picture of smellman wth 1) eyes open, and 2) with a smile on his face
a rare picture of bonesaw with a guitar-boner.
awesome
i could be wrong, but i think that's smell walking-like-an-egyptian.
FRI
so on friday we went over to austin public access television and recorded a 30 minute set, live, which they'll be showing in bits and pieces all throughout the year. the crew was really cool, it was a good vibe. but tv's just such a weird animal. it was kinda hard to tell when we were supposed to start and when we were supposed to stop, and what we were supposed to do when cymbals fell off the drum riser, and the microphone fell off the microphone stand (we just kept going. actually smell saved the day both times). but yeah, we started with this whole "what's up everybody we're full service and this one's called 3 Will Ride Forth." BAH-BAH, BAH-BAH, BAH-BAH, BAH-BAH, BAHHHH, and so forth. then the producer comes in and screams for us to stop, we're going live in 12 seconds. we felt like morons. then it all went well (besides the cymbals and mic falling) until Bonesaw goes "alright that's it ya'll, thanks a lot, once again, we're full service, see ya around!". unplugs. turns his back to the camera. but the crew and cameras were still rolling. then i look up and see the camera guy put up all ten fingers and the "still rolling" sign (a wheel-like movement with your pointer finger). so we played another ten minutes. ending, i believe, with "have you been listening". some people came out to the studio to watch actually, which gave the vibe more of a live feel i think.
after the performance, we ate some tamalis back in the food-room. then we gave an interview, portions of which we will soon post (along with the live footage). i can't wait for you guys to see this. the interviewers were kinda stiff, so it was up to us to liven things up. my favorite moment was when the dude asked bonesaw who our influences are, and i was thinking, "oh great now we have to give the played-out, 'we listen to pretty much everything' answer" when bonesaw totally saves the day and says that our primary collective influence is Allen Iverson.
so it was a good week. south by southwest is a beast. kind of bloated, as bonesaw put it, but still a great time.
oh and on saturday night, we debuted the video for Bo-Ding to a packed house at the Rooster. shadow did a great job putting this thing together. it's got a start menu, an intro, extra live footage, out-takes, the whole deal. we're gonna put clips on the website and once we get a bunch cuplicated, we'll have them for sale. i'll keep ya'll posted.
I also thought I'd say that the best piece of promotion I saw all week was the rock-salute foam-hand that Freebleeder made available to it's fans. check it out...
MARCH 7, 2006 -
that may have been the longest weekend of all time. can i get a ruling on this twink? yes? it was?
ok it's been confirmed, this was the longest weekend of all time (besides Toursaws I and II, which were each a month-long weekend).
friday was grueling even before the night's festivities at the velvet spade began. first i had to make the final sale on Tony, our old van. (The White Whale replaced him). That was incredibly hard to do. I left a note inside the glove compartment saying goodbye, and telling him to keep in touch. He worked so hard.and never complained. I'm going to miss that big lug, that's for damn sure.
then after i wiped away the tears and put the band-aid on my heart, bonesaw and i went over to the courts and played some ball with two of our homies. high-octane games. bonesaw hurt his neck somehow earlier in the day, so he couldn't really get rebounds or post-up inside, and i--like the bratty younger brother i can sometimes be--yelled at him mercilessly for it. and yeah, i was being a dick, but he picked up his game a little bit and ended up winning the last two games after losing the first one.
so that kinda drained us, and then we had to load up the van, which is always a pain in the ass. oh by the way, smell--you are a darling for not showing up to help us out. again. that's so awesome when you do that. you're the man. just kidding dude, (sort of), you totally made up for when you drove back from houston at 3am the next night. little known-fact about smell, by the way, he's addicted to dr. pepper. and he was born in a cave. and raised by bears.
anyway, later that night we played at the velvet spade on red river. Freebleeder opened (a nice, tight set) and Mudsoc, from Oakland came and freakin tore that shit up metal style. check those dudes out. MUDSOC. they're gnarly.
our set was ferocious. opened up with this new little groove that's been haunting my head for weeks. some crazy shit happened at this show. during battleship, smell knocked himself into twink's amp and mistakenly turned down the volume all the way, and at the SAME EXACT moment i broke a hole in my snare drum head, which was fun but also ill-timed and unfortunate. it sounded like this...
ba-doom doom THWAK, ba-doom doom THWAK, then....ba-doom doom FFFPT, ba-doom doom FFFPT.
then my mic stand fell across the drum kit, and then my finger started bleeding somehow and it got all over my pants. so since i had already broken my snare head, when we finished the last song i stabbed both sticks completely through the head....only to hear bonesaw say "ok ONE more...", so i was kinda screwed for that one.
and then of course later my kit was stolen. that sucked.
next day: houston with LSPS, freebleeder, and mudsoc. houston is always kick ass. freebleeder sounded the best i've ever heard them. those dudes have such killer songs.
we started our set with LSPS's "failure is not an option", only we did it reggae stylee. (then later in the night they opened their set with FS's "40% chance").
for our second tune we played a new one called "Wild Kingdom." We haven't played in houston in like two months, and we go and open the set with a song that's not ours, and a brand new one. that's either brilliant or it's incredibly stupid, i can't make up my mind.
anyway it's late and that cereal is calling my name. twink had to cut his go-tee for pizza hut. how weak is that? pizza hut gets the gas face. subway lets me go in looking like a monster. subway does not get the gas face. and rockin' tomato lets smell go in with seashells and ropes in his dredlocks. rockin tomato does not get the gas face.
until next time, fellow saws
--The Battleship
MARCH 6, 2006 -
Hoag's Drums were stolen--FS is majorly bummed
I am so unhappy.
On friday night after our show at the Velvet Spade, we had all our gear outside the side door to the venue, with the White Whale (our van) parked right on the curb, and we must have left it all unattended for a couple minutes tops--if at all--and when we got home we realized the bass drum (with the bass pedal attached) and the rack-tom were not in the Whale. (I still have the hardware, the cymbals, my snares, and my floor tom).
I called the Spade and they said it wasn't there, so I must conclude that it's been stolen. I reported it to the police and I'm gonna check the pawn shops come monday morning. I still have hope!!
anyway, if anyone sees some butthead playing it, or if they see it in a dumpster, or in a pawn shop, please let me know.
It's like losing a dog or something. I mean, it's better than losing something that has a heart beat, but then again...I suppose it did have a heart beat. I'm gonna miss my friend.
Also, does anybody have a spare kit that i could borrow for a little while? I thought my buddy had one, but it turns out he doesn't.
And hopefully my homeowner's insurance covers this, but if it doesn't, it's looking like we'll be having a fundraising party at the Full Service Headquarters sometime soon. We'll cook some pancakes and shit, it'll be fun.
Thanks everyone.
--Sad Hoag
FEBRUARY 19, 2006 -
Well we got back into Austin just in time to go out with flocks of beautiful girls for Valentines day.
We rolled onto Alpine at exactly 3:52pm. Like true saws, we unloaded the van almost immediatley and put all our shit away.
Then we played badminton.
It had been way too long. But it's like a riding a bike. It was an intense match, actually. Twink and Bonesaw came out strong. Bonesaw hit like 5 aces when it was 11-9, which built their lead to 16-9. Not to be outdone, I came back with 5 of my own, which brought it to 16-14. They eventually got it to 20-16, but we came back AGAIN to make it 20-20.
Then they won. And I don't want to talk about it anymore. Ask one of the other dudes about it.
It's great being in the jam room again. I love that place. So many righteous ideas coming out in the past few days.
Twink's living with us now, which pleases me beyond belief.
Now for a very special announcement:
We need money. So I got to thinking....what could we sell, besides our album? (which you should buy, for $6.00 through this website)
and methinks to me-self...we have that DVD of a our last show of Toursaw I in New York City! The sound quality is tight, and we dropped it correct that night, so this is something that any Full Service-ite would really appreciate. You can watch it 4 times. The first time, isolate on me, then the second, isolate on bonesaw, then the third, on twink, and finally, on smell. Or you could do it in the reverse order, I don't care. Then do it again. Then show all your boyfriends and girlfriends.
Anyway, we need money because of the problems with the white whale, and you need to get served, so my advice to you is....buy this DVD.
all you need to do is email BONESAW and attach your address and the following message:
"Code Red! Code Red!" You and him can work out the $$
And finally....I give you the Toursaw II MVP Awards:
TOURSAW II: MVP'S
-UT and Megan--ya'll put up 5 scallywags for 12 nights. TWELVE NIGHTS. that's preposterous.
-MomSaw and DadSaw--mom found us all the hotels, directions, and pretty much bailed us out many times. and that's the least of their contribution.
-paul in Ventura, CA--you were there in our time of need. and you are a conscious brodel who has a permanent place in the service
-matt caurso--you're too rude, man. too rude
-donna--thanks for the book of contacts and for the quiche and grapes (and company)
-ben--baseline...HUGE. heavy hat. HUGER. the ride home in your miata...NOT VERY HUGE.
-asante--thanks for the conversation
-mark dipiazza--dude that pizza was KILLER. and your place is the shit.
-melinda--you were ALSO there in our time of need. thank you.
-sigma nu--thanks for letting us play at your ridiculously huge party. lopey thanks you for loaning him a green shirt for the night. apparently it did the trick.
-k-saw and nicole saw at U of A--you put together a righteous lawn performance. and ya'll had some cute nose-rings
-sarah and ashley from the blaze 1260am at ASU--thanks for the interview and letting us play so many songs. ashley, when you come to austin for SXSW, call us.
-glen from kbeach--g-g-g-g-g G-UNIT!! we loved your flava, man. thanks for having us
-jeremy from "what the funk"--never become a crazy baldhead! keep the long locks, my friend. and thanks for jamming so hard while we were serving up paso robles
-brian, vanessa, and alex from muir tv--that was by far the weirdest, and best, tv interview we've ever done. thanks for hookin up the 200 beans, brian
-jonathan--keep gettin us on the radio in san diego, man! you are a true fansaw
-jake rod from AFRO--ya'll can grind it out with the smoothness. it was great jamming with ya'll. sorry we had to bail out early. you should have seen twink trying to drive home through that absurd fog. one of the scarier things we've ever had to to.
-varay, from "bury the fallen"--(we played with these guys in jackson, MS on toursaw I, and we saw him randomly while he was at school at ASU) great to see you man. thanks for helping with the takeover!
-candace--words cannot express your righteousness. so i will say no more. bless your heart and your ears.
-boobless wonder (michelle)--i hope you liked all those CD's, and it was so fuckin cool that you came all the way to the sandpiper in laguna beach on a monday night at 11pm. you've been "sawed"
-scrispie--another loyal myspacer. you made the journey to Long Beach from LA....not bad. you are hereby "sawed" as well. you mentioned wanting to buy more merch. hit me up. hoag@fullservicemusic.com
-dave -- twink's homeboy who came to diPiazza's
-Dena and friend--sorry we didn't get to hang out after the show at the GIG, we had a lot of family and friends there that night. we hope you enjoyed it though, and thanks for coming out even though you knew nothing about us.
-andrew sage--five words...."that was some slammin' jumbalaya"
-the dudes at purrfect auto parts--the white whale thanks you.
-the lemon tree in the parking lot at purrfect auto parts--thanks for providing ammo for our parking yard lemon-throwing fight
-squaw peak--for making our legs scream for 4 straight days
-the 2 dudes and 1 girl at the gelato shop in hollywood--you took a chance and bought some tickets to the show--cold--but were refused entry on account of your age. for that, we are sorry. hope you enjoyed the CD's though
-that little xenon flashlight that smell brought--you turned darkness into light. period.
-the rack that bonesaw made for the white whale--you provided a buffer between the huge cargo load in the back and the passenger benches up front, thus saving the backs of our heads from certain anihalation. you also provided a place to hang sunglasses.
-lopey's ingenuity--he made little compartments out of tape on the cieling of the whale, for things like pens, lighters, cameras, etc. nice job, lopey's ingenuity
-ralph's grocery--the savings you guys offer are incredible. excellent, excellent work.
-the power converter for the lighter plug in the whale--200 waats of undeniable energy
-skillet-saw--providing a place to cook eggs since toursaw I
-the jacuzzi at the hilton next to our Best Value Inn in Phoenix--duh, because it's a jacuzzi.
-the free breakfast at the best western next to our Motel 8--they don't offer them at Motel 8.
-those fancy water bottles that momsaw got us for the tour--they didn't fit in the cooler, which pissed us off sometimes, but i still say MVP to these little guys
-the dude who threw the jump-ball for us at the court in oakland--(i beat bonesaw)
-that 8 year old kid doing ridiculous tricks on the ramps at Alpine Ventura Skatepark
-the bartender at The Frog and Peach in San Luis--for refusing tips, and telling us to put it towards our gas tank
-Asaf--for hooking us up with that show at Sproul Plaze at UC Berkeley. you're a positive person, man, keep in touch.
-The Academy--for recognizing true acting talent when you see it.
-joe lopez--for the pizza, the sleeping quarters, and the good company.
-the merchandise display that smell and i built--naysayers, step down. this thing held UP.
-mary silke and charlene from phoenix--for coming to the show at the Sets, seeing bone's amp break and the rest of the show turn into a complete disaster, and then STILL buying a CD.
-aaron and billy from phoenix--you came to our show, were refused entry, and stood outside and listened to the whole thing anyway. sawed.
-weber--that pizza place was killer. after all these years, you've finally proven your worth.
-my court-sense and smell's stifling defense--we couldn't have won all those games without you
TourSaw II: Gas-Face Awards
-the exploded toilet at the Super 8 in Phoenix
-the mechanic in santa nella who fucked up the white whale way more than he fixed it--get your tooth fixed, for god's sake
-the "People United" in santa monica--ya'll smell. bad. not kinda bad, like us sometimes, ya'll smell real bad. and you front with the rasta thing, too.
-Scars of Tomorrow--that screamo band we played with in Ventura. these hosers were recently signed to victory records, and they played all rockstar at the show and hid in this private little room instead of acting like normal human beings. and ya'll didn't even bring anyone to the show.
-the dog in that k-9 car--yeah i bet you want to get your hands on you walked all the way to the fuckin basket, then you threw the ball at me when i called a "travel". you're lucky smell wasn't there, he would've come in flyin after you threw that shit.
-the bump in the road that smell drove over in Riverside--sent lope's computer flying through the air. (he caught it though, one of the more amazing things i've ever seen)
-LA smog--brown. hurtful to the lungs.
-LA bands--out for self
-tha lady in laguna beach--no, we don't have any meth for you.
-the douche-bag that stole my cymbal at the sets--i know it was you, sound guy.
-the bathroom at the internet cafe in laguna beach--no, we don't have a quarter to pay for your services.
-The gym teacher who shut down our UCLA takeover
-jake's take-n-bake in Paso Robles--we thought you made the pizza, we didn't think you sold uncooked ones.
-the fog on the way to paso robles--you made us go 40 mph most the way home. we hate you.
FEBRUARY 13, 2006 -An exchange between Smell and Hoag in an El Paso Subway:
Smell: “Where’d Bonesaw go?”
Hoag: “McDonald’s I think.”
Smell: “Why?”
Hoag: “To use the bathroom.”
Smell: “Why didn’t he just use the one in here?”
Hoag: “I don’t f***in know, dude. I’m not Bonesaw.”
Pause
Smell: “Practically, a****le!”
What I heard when I walked into our hotel room this morning (Twink was sitting up in his bed watching Price is Right)
Twink , screaming, arms flailing: “ONE DOLLAR, BABY!! ONE DOLLAR!!”
Our time in San Luis Obispo was brief but memorable. TimBone woke us up at the crack of dawn (9:45am). We were all still in bed, kinda rustling awake, when all of a sudden Bonesaw comes flying through the door drenched in sweat and talking about this huge mountain he came across during his run, and how we’re all gonna climb it later. Smell promptly told him to “be quiet and stop being so happy this early in the morning.”
So Smell and Twink and I walked over to the lobby for the free continental breakfast, but when we got there some Irish lady was on top of the counter cleaning out the orange juice machine. We looked around and notice the pastries were gone. The Irish lady said something nice in Irish, but by that point we were already half-way out the door on our way over to the Best Western across the street, which turned out to be GOLD: a bagel plate, oj, milk, cereal, muffins, etc. We also saw a UCSD tennis player with a blatant mullet, which actually kinda worked for him. He must be able to ball. You don’t grow a mullet if you’re a bad tennis player.
The hike up the mountain was a lot different from the hike up squall peak in Arizona. There weren’t as many people going up this trail, and it was a lot easier. We had to walk for a while through a huge grass meadow before we reached the trail, and I kinda felt like we were in the Sound of Music. In fact, I started to sing the theme, but the other saws gave me weird looks. So I kept singing it. Bastards.
I think I already wrote about the movie we filmed up at the summit. Did I? I’m having trouble remembering.
Anyway, the show that night was a doozy. (What exactly is a doozy, anyway?) We had the whole night, so we played two sets. Nice big crowd. Some serious Bo-Ding. Or was it Dang? Look at the photos and you be the judge. The Bar crew was really good to us. They gave us a bunch of free drinks and refused tips. (“Seriously dudes, save it for the gas tank.”)
And just for the record Smell…I would have won that game of darts had we not run out of time.
The next morning we woke up and began our journey home to Austin. We took it as far as Phoenix last night. Stayed at a Super 8.
We had a nice big room. Two beds. Smell and I were the first ones in, and Smell headed straight for the toilet. As I unpacked some stuff from my bag, I heard a very fraggle-tastic scream coming from the bathroom. If you’ve never heard Smell scream, it sounds like a Fraggle screaming. Because he’s a Fraggle. From Fraggleland. He comes from a long and not-so-noble line of Fraggle ancestry.
Anyway, he runs back out to where I’m unpacking, and tells me to come and take a look at the toilet. Always one for interesting toilet-stories, I oblige, and follow him back to the scene of the….OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.….i’m gonna barf if I continue the story.
We switched rooms.
Now we’re in the van, in the 7th hour of driving. We’re headed to a La Quinta Inn in Ft. Stockton. If you’re lucky, Smell, maybe you’ll find another giant, exploded turd in the toilet
FEBRUARY 11, 2006 -
Super bowl at UT's, baby! Bonesaw and I woke up early to go hiking with our positively illin cuz (matt) and his girlfriend (donna). then we all went over to UT's in time for the kickoff, and found Lope and Smell already well into some miller lite's.
it was really sad leaving UT's on tuesday. (yes, i'm skipping monday--nothing very noteworthy happened, aside from bonesaw getting into it with some busta at the basketball courts. fine, it wasn't bonesaw, it was me. and he started it). anyway, when we tallied it up, we realized we been staying at UT and Megan's house for 12 days. that's damn heroic, guys.
the drive up to berkeley was great. then the van broke down. and we got it fixed in small-ass town called Santa Nella. Or so we thought. Here's a PICTURE of us with the dude who we thought was coming up big with a game-saving performance, but who we found out later actually had no idea what he was doing. Poor guy, I bet he just didn't have a clue. He was kinda squirrly. Didn't seem all that confident. Kinda seemed like he just wanted to get outta there. DAMN, we should have seen it coming.
right as we rolled into berkeley, twink noticed that the wheel alignment was way off and that the driver's side front wheel smelled like fire. usually a bad fuckin sign. and it was. big dollars on this one, folks.
but we got a lot done, despite the White Whale soap opera. we did two days of solid promotion at UC berkeley, which sits on a very awesome, deciduous tract of land. deciduous? bonesaw, is that right? i'm not smart.
the first day we were on campus, we met a guy named Asaf who ended up booking us to play at his vegetarian group's rally the next day on the main stage at the university's central plaza--Sproul Hall. So we came back the next day and did an acoustic set for that, which was kind of intimidated, as you can probably tell from the VIDEO (coming soon). Bones and I set up on this huge set of stairs to a huge marble building, facing a BOATLOAD of people out there on the main campus drag. I was kinda freaked out in the beggining, but I warmed up to it. I had no mic stand, and no stoll to sit on, so i had to stand and hold the mic like a lounge singer. a really caveman-looking lounge singer.
after the acoustic set we attempted a takeover about 50 yards away, this time ON the drag. we got two songs out--"Your Legs Were Wrapped Around My Waist Last Night" and "Oh Kill Me"--before some sort of official came out and told us it was gonna fly. a huge crowd formed for those two songs, though. so THERE, mr. official.
Later on, we grabbed dinner at "High-Tech Burrito," then met up with a friend of mine from college who lives in the Bay Area. We all went to the Starry Plough (where we played the next night), then headed back to our lovely Golden Bear Inn to cool out and get silly. Twink was on fire that night. I asked him to do his Crocadile Hunter voice and talk about Kangaroo's, and somehow the last line of his rant was "....likes to rob banks. Barges into the food mart and says give me all your money. put it in my pouch. Cause I'm a marcupial."
The Starry Plough was a trip. Berkeley is such a hippie town. Very open about marijuana. We were on fire for our set, but there weren't a ton of people in the crowd, I guess because it was kinda early and it was a Thursday night. Many thanks to Bonesaw's old Amherst Baseball teammate, Whit Griffinger, for hooking us up with a big pasta dinner that night, and some beer. And of course Mather, and CANDACE--thanks again for the wonderful bouquet of flowers, that was amazing. Dust Bunny, we'll try to be back soon, I know how upset you must have been. Don't beat yourself up.
We wanted to head over to San Francisco the next morning to hand out some demos and maybe do a takeover at Golden Gate Park, but NOOOO.....the van AGAIN to a crap on our plans. Something about the wheel alignment. Wild-Goose chase. 4 different mechanics. Don't very much feel like talking about it. Got to play basketball though at some playground in downtown Oakland. Smell and I are now 9-0 against Bones and Twink. It's just not gonna happen, fellas. I bet you got excited when you were up 13-10 in that last game, but....cmon. get real.
now we're in san luis obispo for our show tonight at the Frog and Peach, which is a really small place. We have the whole night, too, which should be fun (and experimental). this morning we hiked another mountain, and actually filmed the sequal to the "Hoag and Smell Act Like Baboons" dramatic short. (see media funk section of site). the sequal, titled "Attack of The Hoag", also stars Bonesaw as the Alpha Male, Twink as the Australian narrator, and Lope behind the lense. in this seering scene from the movie, Hoagius Mountainous finally defeats his prey (played by Smellman), only to have Bonesawius Healthius come in and steal his kill. Both Smell and Bone have received nods from the academy, but hoag was grossly overlooked, and was not nominated. See the video HERE. also some PICS (these will be up as soon as lope gets off his ass and gives the pics to Bonesaw).
that's it, I'm out
--hoag
FEBRUARY 6, 2006 -San Diego. UT riding in the white whale with us down to UCSD for a show I hooked up about a month ago with Muir College TV. (many thanks to brian and neal for being on the case and working hard to put it together). there was a sizeable crew out on the lawn getting served, and afterwards we did our first TV interview with Brian, Vanessa, and Alex from Muir TV. when they send us the copy, we'll put clips on the website. interviews are weird. it's so hard not to use cuss words. i think i may have let one slip, actually.
the weather was a little uncool, as in, too cool. and grey, and kinda windy, but we warmed it up a little bit. the quote of the day was some girl coming up to us and saying, "ya'll are great. you're so 90's!". i guess we are kinda 90's.
the pizza place we went to afterwards was pretty nuts. tons of people jammed in there. we actually asked the owner if we could set up and play but he said they didn't have a music "license." man.......%&^ licenses. but we tagged up the place with stickers and demos, so they still got served. by the way, thanks for taking us there, weber. good call. (weber's a friend of mind from high school. we used to fight a lot, but we've since made peace. although i swear, if you ever throw my hockey stick over the fence again, mid-play, i will destroy you.)
FEBRUARY 5, 2006 -paso robles. trivia: how do you pronounce it? i'll give you a minute....
the answer is......nobody knows. pass-o robe-uls, pah-so robe-lace, whatever. even the locals don't seem to know.
anyway, i'd desrcibe the drive from LA to Paso Robles as "colorful" (we drove towards the setting sun, and it bled all sorts of different shades of red and pink and orange and yellow), "humbling" (the hills and mountains make human beings seem incredibly insignificant and temporary), and finally, "fertile" (in regards to grapes and wine. it's wine country up there, and the vineyards are many and close between).
we had a little bit of trouble finding a place to eat. we were all pysched about this little place that looked like a mom-and-pop pizza joint, but when we got there, we realized they were selling uncooked pizzas. confused, we looks again at the sign on the awning, and then it all made sense: "jake's take and bake," as in, you take it home and bake it yourself. what kinda shit is that? i mean, i guess that could be fun, but it was obviously an impossibility for us, so we loped back to the van with our heads down and our lips in frowns. eventually we found another pizza place, where they actually cook the pizza for you. they had plasma tv's and we watched the sixers get worked by the pistons. and for some reason AI wasn't playing, but the sound wasn't turned on, so we never found out why.
we played at a place cal